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link...Clank...Clunk....Bam! A young boy with blue eyes and dark hair sat on the kitchen floor. He smiled as he rolled one of the many toy cars scattered around him. He grabbed a toy car in each hand and rammed them together. Their collision made a sound like a bullet being loaded into the chamber of a gun. One of the cars flipped and landed with its wheels in the air, the other was still upright.
A nearby door swung open. “Conny,” a woman said wearily. “You’re going to destroy all your toys then you won’t have any toys left.”
The boy shrugged his shoulders. He carefully moved the car that flipped into a pile of cars. He then took a car from a different pile and rammed it into the car that had remained upright in the first collision. The new car flipped over.
“Conny,” the woman said, “Those could be worth something someday.”
“But I probably won’t have them in the future,” the boy said. “They’re all half broken anyway.”
The woman giggled and turned to a little girl who was also sitting on the floor. Ophelia, a woman with dark hair and dark eyes leaned against the doorway of the bedroom that the children shared. Her daughter Isabella closely watched a toy oven that was powered by a lightbulb.
"Oh, that smells good," said Ophelia. "These cookies are going to be delicious. You'll have to bake the cookies from now on Izzy."
Isabella giggled. "They'll never be as good as your baking mommy."
"Aww, you're such a sweetie!" said Ophelia. “I’ll teach you everything I know about cooking. Maybe one day you’ll be a master chef at a fancy restraint.”
The girl beamed as she stared into the little window of the oven. She moved slightly to fix her dress. She wore a little oven mitt on one hand and held a large spoon in the other.
Clank....Bam! Conny was focused on his competition. There were only three cars left in the game. His favorite silver station wagon was one of them. It wasn't so much a Hot Wheels car as it was a wedge of silver metal with wheels. It was up against his sister's formula one car. Conny thought to himself. "They're both wedges, and they both win a lot, but nothing can beat silver." He pulled back the cars and slammed them together. The collision made a loud clank. The F1 car flipped over. "Ha, Ha, Ha! Silver wins again!" Conny said to himself.
There was one car left in the competition. It was a purple Chevy Nova. He knew it didn't have a chance but slammed them together anyway. The Nova flew into the air like it hit a ramp. The Hot Wheels car landed in the living room and rolled to a stop near the feet of Conny’s father.
Marijuana smoke floated in the air like thin gray ribbons. Sunlight shone brightly through the window behind the houseplant hanging from the ceiling. The news anchor on the television spoke in an ominous tone about something Conny was blissfully unaware of.
The furthest cushion on the left of the couch sat Vernon Bond. Conny’s dad Vernon was a heavy-set man with large arms. He was wearing a black pocket tee, white Fruit of the Loom underwear, and an M3 sub-machine gun strapped around his neck and shoulder. "Careful Conny," said Vernon. "You’re going to break something." Conny walked into the room with his head down and retrieved the toy car. Just then, there was a knock at the door. The family went silent. Ophelia crawled towards Vernon.
“Oh no... honey, there’s someone at the door.”
Vernon got up and slipped on some pants. Conny, Isabella, and Ophelia quietly moved into the children’s bedroom and shut the door. Ophelia pulled out a short-barreled revolver from inside her waistband. She knelt and looked at the children. She slowly put a finger up to her mouth as she whispered, “Shh.”
For a few tense moments, Ophelia gripped the wheel gun while Conny and Isabella sat on the lower bunk of their bunk beds. “Who do you think it is mommy?” asked Isabella.
“I don’t know honey. Just stay quiet until daddy checks it out.” Ophelia crept over to the bedroom window and slowly parted the curtain. She peaked out of the window.
Suddenly, the bedroom door creaked open. She reflexively pointed the gun at it. Vernon stuck his head in the room and said, “It was just that little blond headed girl from down the road.” Ophelia let out a gasp and put the gun down on a dresser.
“What is she doing wandering around right now? Doesn’t she know it’s dangerous outside?”
Vernon shook his head. “I asked her if her mother knew where she was and she said ‘yes’.”
Little Isabella shook her head at this. Her light brown locks of hair moved back and forth across her face. “I know Lucy well,” Isabella said. “She’s probably lying about that.”
Conny asked, “What’s going on outside anyway? I want to go out and play.”
Ophelia and Vernon exchanged nervous glances then Vernon said, “People are just going crazy. You can’t trust anyone right now.”
Ding! The timer on the Easy Bake oven went off. Isabella let out a little squeak and crawled up to the device on the floor. "Careful Izzy, it's hot," said Ophelia.
With a tiny oven mitt, Isabella opened the door of the oven and pulled out a small cookie. She stared at it for a moment beaming with pride. She said, "Let's divide it into four pieces so everybody can try it, Here Conny, you try some!"
Conny put down a toy car and took the cookie piece. He looked it over and thought that it was flat for a cookie and the chocolate chips didn’t look melted. He put it in his mouth and Isabella smiled big as she watched. Conny munched on the unleavened cookie and his eyes went wide. He immediately spit it out all over his toy car collection. "Yuck!" He cried. "Something isn’t right about that cookie!"
Isabella let out a little humph and crossed her arms over her chest. Ophelia scowled in Conny’s direction. "Conrad James Bond!” She said in a surprised tone, “Go to the trash if you must spit something out. It's probably just a little under cooked."
Conny walked over to the trash can. "Yeah, but this is different!" he said. Isabella had a very angry look on her face. Conny leaned down and spit into the trash can.
The others took a bite. Isabella got wide eyed and ran to the trash can, spitting on the floor before she made it there. Ophelia took a bite and her eyes expanded. "Oh no,” she said. “I must have messed up the recipe. We used salt instead of sugar. I'm sorry kids."
Down but not defeated, Isabella tugged on Ophelia’s pant leg. "Let's try again mommy," she said, “I know we can make the yummiest cookies ever!”
Just then, the family became silent again. They could hear a car rumbling down the road at a high speed. Vernon bolted to a dining room window. His hands gripping the machine gun tightly. The car sped past the house. "Okay everyone, it's okay. He kept going." said Vernon.
Ophelia let out a sigh of relief. "How fast do you think he was going Honey?"
Vernon replied, "I don't know, maybe 70? People are losing their minds. The speed limit is only 25."
A few seconds later they could hear the car accelerating again. The car backfired as its tires burned some rubber. "Hold on," said Vernon as he slid back the bolt of the M3, loading a bullet into the chamber. "He's coming back."
Ophelia’s eyes relaxed as she said, "Don't worry Hun. They probably didn't know it was a dead-end road." The car zoomed past the house at a higher speed than before. The sound of its exhaust faded away.
Conny looked at his parents and said, “I can’t wait to drive. I want a fast car like that one!” Vernon laughed and removed the magazine from his weapon. He popped a bullet out of the chamber and caught it in the air. He then posed with the gun and made a tough kind of half-smile. Ophelia rolled her eyes. The family went back to their activities.
The next morning Conny woke up to his parents arguing. He heard his mother say in a distressed voice, “You can't go! We can't bring the kids, so someone must stay and watch them!”
“But I really need to get out of the house. I can't handle being cooped up in here for so long. Can't we have Gladdis come over and watch them?”
“No, we tried that before, and you remember what happened.”
“Ophelia, I'm going to brain you! People are going crazy right now. There's no telling what anyone will do right now. Stay here with the kids while I go out and get supplies.”
Ophelia groaned a little. The house went silent for a moment. Conny turned over in his bed and looked at the clock which read 10:10. He stretched his legs and closed his eyes. “I’m not ready to get up yet.” he thought to himself.
Ophelia broke the silence. “Oh, well, okay I guess”. Hurry back and don't make any extra stops.”
“Don't worry, I won't. If anything goes wrong, I got the grease gun.”
“Vernon!” said Ophelia. “Don't say things like that, you scare me. How much time did they say we have honey?”
“According to WGN news we have about 6 days, so I'll just pick up enough stuff to last us around 8.”
Upon hearing this, Ophelia got quiet as she stumbled into the living room and laid down on the couch. As Conny lay in bed listening to his parents’ conversation, he noticed the abrupt pause. Conny crawled out of the lower bunk bed and went into the living room to see what was going on. Ophelia was lying on the couch and Vernon was kneeling over her. She was breathing hard and fast.
"Hold on," said Vernon, "I'll go get a paper bag."
Conny walked up close to his mother.
"What's wrong Mommy?" he said.
"What's wrong Mommy?" he asked.
Ophelia didn’t reply. She just lay there with her eyes wide and breathing rapidly. Vernon came back into the room.
"Your mother is having a panic attack," said Vernon. "It looks like she's also hyper-ventilating this time."
"What's that mean Dad?" said Conny.
Vernon placed the paper bag over Ophelia's mouth and told her to calm down and it would be okay. Her breathing slowed and her eyes watered. They held that position for a couple minutes until Ophelia's breathing returned to normal. She sat up and they hugged each other for a few moments. Conny was now seated on the floor of the living room staring up at his parents in confusion. An open mouth and an expression of worry crossed his face as he watched his mother cry on his father’s shoulder.
"Do you think you can find some valium for me honey?" asked Ophelia.
"I don't know dear. It’ll probably be hard to find anything like that right now. Does the pot not help?"
Ophelia thought for a minute then said, "I smoked some earlier. Maybe the pot is making it worse." Vernon snickered. "Pot always calms me down. I don't see how it could do the opposite for you." Ophelia looked down and said, "Could you at least ask around to see if there is anything?"
"Yes sweetie," replied Vernon. "I'll call up Daniel and see if he has any more Quaaludes. If you have an attack on that, there's no hope for you." Vernon chuckled.
Vernon slipped on his black boots and walked out of the door. The rumble of the truck's exhaust vibrated the house. Conny sat down on the couch next to Ophelia. She was still a little shook up. He got up and turned on the television. Ophelia stopped him and said, "Wait honey, let's just listen to some music instead." Conny stopped and shrugged his shoulders. He plopped down on the floor next to the Akai radio under the television. When he pressed the power button, a loud static filled the room. "Oh, my head. Turn it down a little honey." Ophelia moaned. Conny turned down the hissing static then asked her what station she wanted. "Put it on 99.8 FM, there's usually something good on that channel." Conny turned the dial fast past a few other stations that came in. Ophelia squeaked, " Wait, turn it back." When he turned back the dial, Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond was playing on the station. Ophelia got up slowly and started swaying around the room. She told Conny how much she loved the song. She bent over and did a stretch then spun around and lifted on her toes. "Dance with me sweety,” she said. He stood up and pulled his shoulders back to look distinguished. He then strode up to his mother who was more than a foot taller than he was. He took her hand and spun her around clockwise. Ophelia giggled as Conny put her into a dip. When the song ended, Conny bowed and went to his bedroom to play some Nintendo. Ophelia continued to dance to the next song. She twirled around the living room, trying to forget what had happened.
Conny sighed as his digital character on the screen died. He pressed the start button. The 8-bit music began again. Some movement outside of Conny’s window caught his attention. He looked back at the screen to see his character die again. “Oh dang!” he said. A loud click startled him. “What was that” He said,” Did a bird hit the window?” Conny looked over to see a small round face with blond hair peered through the window. “Lucy!” he shouted. “It’s not nice to spy on people.”
Conny opened the window and said, “You shouldn’t be outside.”
Lucy smiled and replied, “Why not?”
“Well,” Conny started, “My parents say it’s dangerous to go outside.”
Lucy looked around as if she was searching for something. She looked at the sky and her arms. Then she looked down at her feet. “Welp Conny,” she said, “Everything looks safe to me. Come out and play.”
“I can’t.” Conny said.
Lucy smiled as she said, “Are you grounded again girly?”
Conny scowled. “I’m not a girl.”
Lucy laughed. “Then why do you have a girl’s name?”
“Conrad is not a girl’s name!” Conny groaned.
Lucy said, “Conny is.”
Conny said, “No it isn’t.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“No, it ain’t!”
“YES, IT IS! Do you want to come out and play, girly girl?”
Conny was fuming. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly closed it. “I don’t want to play with you. I can’t anyway because I’m not allowed outside right now.”
Lucy smiled big. Her mouth seemed to double in size. “Are you grounded again?” she said playfully.
Conny closed the window and started walking back to his video game. Something big hit the window with a loud bang. Conny pulled the curtain back. He watched through the cracked window as Lucy ran away.
“Mom!” Conny yelled, “Lucy broke another window!”
About an hour passed until the chugging exhaust note of Vernon's old Chevy Blazer began to vibrate the house. The door flung open, and Vernon barged into the house carrying two paper bags full of groceries. He carelessly dropped the bags in the kitchen and pulled Ophelia into their bedroom and slammed the door.
Conny was startled by the sounds. He paused the video game to go see what the problem was. As he approached his parents’ bedroom door, he could make out some whispering.
“And then they tried to take the groceries,” Vernon said. “Are they really that bad that they would try to take my food? The stores aren’t even bare yet.”
Ophelia was crying again. She mumbled, “I can’t handle this!”
Vernon replied, “They shot out my back window. I think I got one of them. I emptied a clip as I was getting away.”
“Oh no! That’s terrible!” said Ophelia.
There was a long silence then Vernon said, “I couldn’t get any dope. You’ll just have to tough it out until we go to my sister’s place for the end-times party. They’ll probably have something for you there. Also, I think they hit my back tire.”
Conny didn’t know what to think of this. His mouth opened and he tried to make sense of what he heard. He whispered to himself, “What’s an end times party?”
A couple days later, Ophelia stumbled into the doorway of the children’s bedroom knocking over an open can of coke on the floor. “Oops, I’ll clean that up later,” she said. Then she told the children to get their favorite toy. Conny ran to the closet and came out holding a silver-colored Hot Wheels station wagon. Izzy also ran over to the dresser and held out a Barbie doll wearing an eccentric dress that glows in the dark. Vernon was loading up the Blazer with a cooler and a crock-pot filled with food Ophelia had cooked the night before.
“Okay kids, are we ready for an adventure?” Vernon asked.
The kids looked at each other and replied, “Yay! Adventure!”
Conny asked, “Where are we going?”
Vernon’s face suddenly lost its sense of enthusiasm. “We are going to visit your cousins.”
Conny seemed a little confused and said, “How is that an adventure?”
Vernon tried to maintain his smile and said, “There has been a spike in crime recently, umm. We are going to drive through some bad parts of town and maybe even through the woods.” Vernon put his hand to his mouth as he thought. “There could be hills and creaks we will have to drive through.” Conny smiled at this and climbed into the vehicle.
“Is everybody buckled up?” Ophelia asked as she attempted to climb into the vehicle.
“Yes Mommy.” the children replied in unison.
Ophelia didn’t quite make it into the vehicle, and she slowly slid back out and onto the ground.
“Oh man baby,” said Vernon. “How many did you take?”
Ophelia just laughed as she tried to get back on her feet. Vernon got out and helped her back into the truck. Then he went back around to the driver’s side and got in. He slammed the door hard and locked it. Vernon turned around as he was backing the truck out of the driveway and said to the kids, “Part of the adventure is hiding under this cover until we get to your cousin’s house.” The kids giggled and complied. They ducked under the big cover Ophelia tossed over them. Conny huddled under the blanket, flipping the toy car around in his hand. Izzy just sat there mostly still, as the truck rumbled down the road. A loud bang echoed through the neighborhood they were traveling through.
Conny started to pull down the blanket and asked, “Can I watch the fireworks?”
In a hasty voice Ophelia said, “No honey, just stay under. Those aren’t even gunshots. There isn’t anything to see.”
Conny pulled the blanket back down and sat patiently. Another loud bang happened outside the truck. “What was that?” asked Conny.
Ophelia said in a labored voice, “Don’t worry sweetie. It’s nothing important. The moon is just trying to escape the earth again.”
Vernon chimed in, “It’s just part of the adventure!”
Conny could hear their parents whispering something unintelligible. All he could make out was Ophelia saying something about turning. Just then a series of bangs happened outside the vehicle. Conny could hear something hitting the side of the Blazer and glass breaking. Vernon let out a loud, “Crap.”
Suddenly the truck started bouncing hard. The kids flew up out of their seats. Izzy started screaming uncontrollably.
Ophelia laughed a little and said, “Calm down kids. It’ll be okay. The king of darkness has our backs!”
Vernon said, “Oh man, they’re going to get it!”
More bangs echoed off the houses and the truck slowed down. Conny clung tightly to the blanket that was covering him. Izzy had stopped screaming but Conny could hear her sobs. Giving into curiosity, Conny began to peak his head out from under the covers when he heard his dad’s door open.
“You want some! Come get some!” Vernon yelled out.
Then there was a series of extremely loud bangs. Conny immediately covered his ears as he got back under the blanket. Izzy screamed. Conny tried to count the bangs but there were too many. Things got quiet for a second. He heard the door slam again and the vehicle sped off, bouncing around a little then smoothing out. Conny was scared. His ears were ringing. Izzy was crying again. Vernon was mumbling something angrily and Ophelia was laughing.
Sensing that things had calmed down, Conny decided to peek at the world from under the cover. He lifted the blanket and heard broken glass fall from the cover. The windows were all but knocked out of the vehicle he was riding in. Ophelia was passed out in the passenger seat, and something smelled like it was burning. A house on fire quickly came into view. Conny couldn’t understand why nobody seemed to care that there was a house on fire. Various people were walking down the sidewalk without a second glance at the house. A few seconds later he saw a group of people dressed all in white, organized in a circle. They were standing in a field looking up at the sky with arms outstretched. Conny looked forward and noticed that his dad was looking at him through the rear-view mirror.
“Get back down under the cover Conny.” he said.
Conny nodded his head yes and pulled the blanket back down.